Category Archives: Health & Wellbeing

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Our top 5 Fears – No.3 – Rejection

Category:Health & Wellbeing

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Rejection, without doubt, can be one of the biggest fears faced by many and can affect every area of your life.

  • Relationships
  • Work
  • Personal projects
  • Ideas
  • Dreams
  • Wishes

It can leave you with a huge feeling of why which may never be fully answered and can send your mind spinning in ever decreasing circles at all times of the day or night.

You may have put everything you had on the line and risked all including your time, money and pride to:

  • ask that person out on a date
  • submit your ideas
  • go for that job or
  • ask for that raise,

and it could have taken every ounce of courage you had in the process, only to hear a very loud ‘no’.

At such point your confidence sinks, your self-esteem crumbles and your negative self-talk can become relentless, you may want to give it all up completely and forever as you recite, why, why, why over and over with endless possible, sometimes outlandish, made up reasons, but nothing makes any real sense until you convince yourself of one single thought that must be true, otherwise you would have been told yes. It’s hard work being rejected.

The word no is not the issue, it’s that someone doesn’t want what you are offering and that it contains various parts of your heart and soul; and that’s where rejection strikes the most.  It hits your belief in yourself.

As human beings we have a natural need to be accepted and when we are rejected this can deeply affect our sense of belonging to others and to ourselves; to be somebody and to be heard.

Our self-belief is what carries us through life and to have this knocked can be a hard road to walk.

Is rejection all it’s made out to be?

It may come as a surprise to you, but my own personal belief is that there is no such thing as rejection; am I deluding myself? I don’t think so, I see it as being about personal opinion or beliefs and when you match or align yours with another you will be accepted, but the dilemma is that until you ask you don’t know, and if you never ask you will never get, and rejection comes out of asking; so how do you get what you want?

The majority of people have been rejected for something in their lives at some time, and I would guess that for many in hindsight it has turned out to be one of the best things that happened to them.  It may have helped them re-focus, re-write, re-evaluate or re-apply or re-ask in another way, so I see it as part of reinventing ourselves, and from a perceived rejection we can only grow.

So what usually happens after the thoughts of rejection have settled down in your mind, do you give up or fight harder?

I believe that rejection is a numbers game, now that doesn’t mean that you can ask that same person out on a date fifty times until you get that ‘yes’, you may need to re-evaluate or re-adjust so you become a better you, or you could ask other people out and you will, eventually, get that yes.  It could be the second or the fifty second person you ask, you don’t know which, but it will come.

The same goes for these now famous people which could easily not have been if they had taken rejection as the end of the line. How would life be for them, and us in some way, if they had have given up?

Walt Disney

Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star in 1919 because, his editor said, he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He was further turned down some 302 times before he got financing for Disneyland.

Elvis

After a performance at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry, Elvis was told by the concert hall manager that he was better off returning to Memphis and driving trucks (his former career).

Stephen King

His most renowned and first book, Carrie, was rejected thirty times. He decided to toss the book in the bin which his wife rescued and convinced him to re-submit it.

JK Rowling

She was rejected by 12 publishers before Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone was accepted.

Michael Jordon

He was cut from his high school basketball team for not being good enough, which he said only made him a better player.

I would encourage you to start to embrace rejection, to get back up and try again and again as quickly as possible to find that magic, unknown, number that will be your  ‘yes’.  Look for the positives behind the no and keep moving forward and re-adjusting where needed.

One very important question to ask when receiving rejection is, “what do I need to do to make it a yes”?  That can help you decide if you want to make those changes to align with that person or company, or if you want to reach those you will naturally align with.  The choice is yours but above all, never give up.


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Enlightenment – What is it and how can you get it?

Category:Health & Wellbeing

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Enlightenment – What is it and how can you get it?

The talk on the street is that we are coming into the age of enlightenment; Great! but what exactly does that mean and how can you get it?

Does it mean that you have to sit cross legged on the top of a hill during a full moon and chant? Or do you need to develop your telepathic or telekinesis skills? or simply replace your 60 watt light bulb with a 100 watt?

Some may say yes to some of that and others may tell you that it’s about finding your heart within yourself and learning how to recognise the needs of others.

There are a few ways in achieving enlightenment and none of it has anything to do with religion of any kind.  Compassion is one of them and it all starts with yourself, recognising, and accepting, your own faults and failings with the wisdom and understanding that had it not have been for those things you would not be where you are today, both the good and not so good of it.

Your life path up to this point has led you to right now, why? because that’s exactly where you are supposed to be with the wisdom and knowledge you have today, you can’t be anywhere else because you have not developed the wisdom and knowledge to be there, but the chances are that you look back on your life wishing things could have been different – stop – having that ball and chain to your ankle only holds you back and slows you down, you and only you hold the key and are free to remove your shackles at any time.

Enlightenment is about you and learning to let go and find self-acceptance and become free from your emotional burdens and limiting beliefs; accepting what is and what has been and being totally non-judgemental of your fellow human brother or sister for the journey they have taken themselves on.

The motto of enlightenment is said to be Sapere aude! which means Dare to be Wise!  And is about developing an inner wisdom and ‘knowing’ and looking for the learning from each life situation, which is always there.

Part of my own journey is that my father walked out when I was just one year old and left my mother with seven school age children, and with $0.01 maintenance payment per year we lived a poor life, however, enlightenment has shown me that as a result of this I have developed compassion for others in less fortunate positions, and have since learned that my father had aggressive tendencies, so I now feel that we, my brothers and sisters, had a lucky escape.  I have also discovered that his path was fraught with trauma and neglect and although I may not condone his behaviour I can release it from my body and let it go, with love.  I am now thankful for what he did because my life would have been so very different otherwise.

The other part of obtaining enlightenment is looking beyond what your eyes see and your ears hear and lifting the veil on the hundreds and thousands of years of how we have been controlled, guided, or misguided to believe certain things and are still, today, being told untruths in public by the mainstream media and many other areas.  We are in a time where those that speak their truths are put down and ridiculed, not only in the media but by us, as individuals. Where we do not understand or believe, we resort to ridicule.

For example, we have been duped to believe that taking vitamins and minerals do us little to no good, in fact taking them they could do us harm, so we are told over and over.  Consider this; the human body is by nature made up of vitamins and minerals, our body makes these substances 24/7 so why would taking vitamins and minerals be bad for us?  Would you put sodas in your car rather than petrol? highly unlikely, and if you did it would fail, yet day in, day out we are taking man made pills to allegedly make us well when what we need is the correct dose of vitamins and minerals either naturally from the earth’s store or in quality supplements.

To me, one of the most important ways we have been deceived, which has led to our lack of enlightenment, is to think that the body, mind and spirit are totally separate from one another and that science and spirituality are at opposite ends of the spectrum.  This could not be further from the truth as our thoughts and emotions strongly reflect in our body in every way and can, and do, cause pain, sickness and illness.

If you can find that stillness in your mind, your body will follow.  If you can release your past and accept yourself for who and where you are right now and learn to lift the veil to look beyond what is being presented to you and ‘Dare to be Wise’, you will, indeed, be on the path to enlightenment.

About Debby Emeny (Guddee)

Having been bullied through childhood, in the workplace and in relationships, Debby’s passion is to empower you to create confidence and self-esteem and help you achieve your goals by identifying and removing limiting beliefs which block your success.

Based in New Zealand, Debby is qualified in adult teaching, NLP, is a certified Master EFT Trainer and Matrix-Reimprinting Practitioner.  She is also a children’s Heart-Math educator, an intuitive healer and a powerful public speaker.

She is a children’s author with her first book, My Favorite Hugs being voted one of 12 most notable children’s books of 2013 by Shelf Unbound.  Her latest book, Discover the Magic of EFT for Bullying which helps children recover from the emotional effects of bullying to gain confidence and self-esteem, was voted one of the best instructional books of 2014.,

She is mother to one daughter and a devoted grandmother that keeps her forever young.

Debby works with clients in person and via Skype.

Discover more about Debby and her work at www.dev.free-yourself.co


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Our top 5 Fears – No.2 – Death

Category:Health & Wellbeing

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A fear of death affects millions of people every year and can stop you from enjoying all the wonders of life. You can be fearful of your own death or the death of a loved one; it can cause severe anguish and mental suffering.

Death is the one thing we can never run from, it will come to us all at some time. In 200 years from now there will have been a complete change in population and not one of us here now will be on this planet.

Why Are We So Caught Up in this Fear, What Are We Really Afraid Of?

There are many individual reasons why we have this fear, let alone the way it is portrayed in many movies, which can be quite a scary experience in itself, some of the reasons could be:

  • the unknown, what will happen and where do we go?
  • leaving our loved ones?
  • not achieving our dreams?
  • not being able to experience life?
  • dying in regret?
  • what will happen when we are not here, who will look after things?

When we are young and carefree we generally tend to have a lesser fear of death than during later years, the onset of parenthood, or grandparenthood, makes us realise our mortality and importance in life and our need to be here on this planet taking care of those we love and cherish.

As we get older we may experience the loss of loved ones which again makes us assess our own life, and as age creeps upon us the fear can become stronger, with the words ‘what if’ frequently going through our minds, we could find ourselves sitting in our chair watching TV and doing much of nothing.

We start to see fear in the things we used to enjoy such as going on holiday or flying, we consider all of the things that we are afraid of before leaving the comfort of our own home, all of which comes down to a fear of dying, and we are never quite ready for that.

We know that we are walking a line from the time we are conceived to a date in our future, which we can never be sure of, so we hold back on life and living and try to savour the moments we have by not taking any risks, ‘just in case’.

However, by not taking risks could end up living life in regret. Some of the top regrets of the dying are:

I held back on my dreams

  • I worked too hard
  • I worried too much
  • I didn’t make enough time for my family or friends
  • I wish I had told people how much I loved them
  • I wish I had known earlier that happiness is a choice

How Do We Get Over This Fear?

There are a number of ways of overcoming this fear, talking about it to someone is often a good start as talking can often help to put things in perspective.

One of the best ways I know of overcoming it is to focus on the present moment and recognise your feelings, knowing that holding back on life is like living for death.

Write down the things that you may regret in your final days and do those things. Tell people you love them, work less hours, spend time with those who are important to you and go for your dreams, whatever age you are. Doing so could help to keep you young, vibrant and ‘alive’.

If providing for others is a key aspect for you, make sure you put a plan in place to get this off your mind, but also know that whatever happens people are resilient, they find a way.

Take the time to focus on the smaller things in life and appreciate the beauty you have around you such as a flower, a kind word or generous act of another.

Learn to laugh at simple things and dance your way through life, and when the time comes that we leave, and it will come, you will feel that you have had the most amazing time and others are likely to echo these words about you, which would make you smile if you could hear them.

Finally, in the words of someone who knew how to fully overcome the fear of death:

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, “wow, what a ride!”   Anonymous

Next: our No.1 fear; Failure


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