The Top 5 Reasons Why You Would Not Use EFT Tapping

The Top 5 Reasons Why You Would Not Use EFT Tapping


With EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on the increase and all the talk about it, why would you not use it?

With all the hype going on about EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques – Tapping (aka “that tapping thing’) and everyone telling you why you should use it, I want to ponder on the reasons people have told me that they would not use it, along with my response.

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and has been around since 1995 and as a result it is still considered a new modality in the experimental stages.

It was founded by Gary Craig, a Stanford engineering graduate, ordained minister and NLP Certified Master Practitioner and has its roots in TFT, Thought Field Therapy, founded by Roger Callahan, an Applied Kinesiologist.

The profile of EFT is increasing and its gain in publicity also comes with an impressive range of people either owning up to using it or having been seen using it.  This list includes ‘A’ list celebrities of television and movie fame, top sport professionals; who have been filmed live on prime-time TV tapping on themselves before an event. The world’s best and well known motivational guru’s and entrepreneurs also use EFT Tapping and have included it in their books & trainings.  Some government run medical establishments are trialling it and many schools are reporting great results with the reduction of exam stress and calming the classroom.  I also read recently that it is now being offered on the famous Harley Street in London.

EFT works with a wide range of physical or non-physical ailments but does not claim to cure anything, it simply assists to put the body back into balance by using what is known as acupuncture without needles, which is tapping on specific points of the upper body, face, head, hands and torso, the same points as used in acupuncture or acupressure.

It is considered to be one of the best self-help tools in the world as a person can use their own fingers to help themselves feel better about a pain, fear or anxiety on the spot – in the moment.

The tapping can also be done, or guided, by a trained practitioner who directs a client on where to tap and what to say or do, often uncovering information about the pain or situation that the client may have long forgotten, creating a moment of discovery known as an Ah Ha moment.

Some people have reported amazing results with this strange looking, very simple technique, and some dismiss it as being far too easy to be in the least bit effective, and others just think it’s too way out there to even look at.  The consideration is, that by assisting the body to return to its natural balanced state, it can create the opportunity for it to heal (or cure) itself.

All that being said, why should you not use EFT for yourself?

You don’t believe it will work

Belief is a powerful thing and I personally believe that some treatments need an element of belief in order for them to work.  In my view, EFT is not one of them.  Wikipedia is very belittling of EFT claiming that it to be no more than the placebo effect.  However, the placebo effect is a thorn in the side of the pharmaceutical industry as all prescribed medications must out-perform the placebo, and around 30% do not, which clearly proves the power of the mind to heal itself.  Therefore, by that definition, should EFT be placed in the placebo bucket it has a minimum 30% chance of working better than a pharmaceutical.

If you got rid of the condition, you would have to change

Many people have reasons for holding onto their issues, albeit that they may not consciously be aware of it until asked.  As a simple example, let’s say that you have hurt your back, and by getting better it would mean that you may have to look after the grand/kids, socialise more, go to work or any number of things that you would rather not do which are the things that your bad back is stopping you from doing.  Therefore, if you do not want to do those things, do not try EFT.

You don’t want to dig up the past

What’s done is done and can’t be undone, so some say, so why revisit something if it’s going to be painful and means digging up memories you would rather forget? This can be a major stumbling block for many people, but also unknown to many is that emotional events that have been stuffed down have been linked to sickness in later years.  Day in, day out, we are constantly being reminded of events by subtle clues such as the way someone looks at you or maybe say a specific phrase that annoys you, however, it’s rarely that particular person, it’s that they remind you of something or someone else which triggers your response. In the hands of an experienced and skilled practitioner, digging up the past need not be a painful event.

Your friend tried it and it didn’t work

There can be numerous reasons why EFT didn’t work, and in my view one of the main reasons is that it is so easy to do that many people think that just by knowing the tapping points that they also know EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques, however, this is far from true.  EFT has many complexities and can take a long time to learn, therefore it would be wise to seek out someone that is part of a professional body such as AAMET, AMET, EFT Universe, or others, that way you know that they have been highly trained, would have taken and passed an exam, undergo regular supervision and adhere to a set of ethics and ways of working and can help guide you through the times when EFT isn’t being as effective as it could be.

It works

Oddly enough, this can be a major for people not wanting to try EFT as it covers many of the points raised above.  When EFT really works it can create change, and this change could mean that you become happier and healthier, it could mean a change of job or lifestyle and for some, they are not ready for this type of change, they know themselves for who they are and as they are.  Change can seem quite daunting and scary but a great practitioner will support and help you through these changes.  I would encourage you to ask lots of questions when selecting your EFT practitioner to work with.

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Tap into Success



Do you dream of being very successful and want to improve your career or financial status yet struggle with the glass ceiling effect?  Do you wish you had more clients but hold back on reaching out for fear of public speaking or lack of confidence?   Are your ambitions bigger than your actions?

A new wave of self-help is on the increase as many life and business coaches are realising the immense potential of this technique called EFT, pronounced E.F.T which stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques otherwise known as ‘Tapping’. It is being used around the world to teach professionals how to quickly release stress, anxiety, self-doubt or procrastination; to become a confident public speaker or to help them achieve bigger and better.

EFT is considered to be one of the best self-help tools on the market and you can easily learn to do for yourself, on the spot, to instantly change your response to a situation.

Many people testify to EFT working to break down barriers to create better relationships and helping them take positive action towards success and removing money blocks.

What is Emotional Freedom Techniques?

EFT Tapping has been around for approximately 25 years and is gaining worldwide attention in many areas of life, Governments are looking at this for health issues; it is being used in schools to help with exam stress, on the sports field to increase performance; in VA centres to help veterans suffering from PTSD and helping businesses to achieve.  It is being discovered that there is no area where EFT cannot be used.

It is used by celebrities, coaches, therapists, psychologists, hypnotherapists, counsellors, every day people in everyday life. A form of EFT is used by one of the largest entrepreneurs of our time in his fly without fear program.  Anyone can use EFT.

The American Psychological Association endorses the legitimacy of EFT along with MD's and neurologists, and science is now examining the claims made by EFT enthusiasts. The top personal performance coaches in the world, such as Jack Canfield and Tony Robbins also endorse EFT as a way of quickly and easily clearing blocks to success.

Its’ beauty is in its’ quickness and simplicity, but that’s also where some of the doubt comes in, that’s it is too simple to work effectively; however, those that use EFT know that statement to be completely untrue.  Used correctly EFT can work very quickly.

EFT has been known to clear bad habits and limiting beliefs within a few hours, leaving you to confidently implement the positive models of success exhibited by other highly successful people.

How does EFT Work?

EFT has its roots within acupuncture but uses no needles, instead you use your fingers to lightly tap on certain points of the face and upper body.  Yes, it may look strange, but no stranger than acupuncture did many years ago, and it works whether you believe in it or not.

Some say that EFT is mind over matter or positive thinking, but it is neither of those things, and if you have blocks to success, positive thinking will have limited effect as you can only achieve as far as your limiting beliefs take you.  EFT helps you to dissolve the barriers to naturally move you to a new comfort zone.

Your thoughts can be your best friend or your worst enemy and trying to control them can be a minefield.  By using EFT to tap on points of the body while thinking about something or experiencing sensations such as fear, anxiety or stress, stimulates a response in the body that has been proven to switch off the fight or flight response which reduces or removes these negative feelings.

EFT helps to rebalance and restore the body to help the mind think more rationally and logically, so where decisions are hard to make, EFT can help to gain clarity, and if you are anxious about public speaking, tapping on the points while you focus on how you feel will reduce the anxiety or negative self-talk to allow you to speak more confidently to your audience.

The medical field says that 80% of illness has a stress related component, and as tapping has been noted to reduce the cortisol associated with stress within minutes, this naturally relates to an increase in health and performance.

Using Tapping to Create Wealth

Blocks around money can impact the success of a business. The anxiety felt on where the next sale may come from or if there is enough cash flow to run the marketing campaign can create stress, fear or frustration which can trigger limiting beliefs around money and stop the money from coming in.  It can be a relentless cycle.

If you could address and clear the angst this could offset the money worries and give your business the freedom to grow, and by addressing the worries on the inside, the outside can have the opportunity to flourish.

EFT tapping will not spontaneously create a pot of money at the end of the rainbow, but it will give you the freedom from negative thoughts and help to create a natural inner resilience to reach higher as you release yourself from fears to allow the creativity to flow with a positive mental attitude that confidently takes your business to the next level.

With so much time spent on business coaching, entrepreneurs are always looking to find quicker and better ways to achieve over and above their competition, and this technique could just give you the edge, but will tapping for success work for you?

Debby is a Master EFT Trainer and runs training courses online and in person for Entrepreneurs to help them overcome their blocks to success.  She also offers a specific coaching program to help you get out of your own way and achieve your goals.  Contact Debby for more information.

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Tapping vs EFT – what’s the difference



EFT is considered to be one of the best self-help, emotional management tools in the world.

By successfully using EFT it is possible to achieve complete emotional freedom from your condition.  However, as more and more people are learning about, and turning to EFT to help heal conditions such as depression, anxiety, pain, fears, phobias or traumas (to name but a few), the question has to be asked:

What is the difference between Tapping and EFT-Emotional Freedom Techniques?

EFT is affectionately referred to as tapping, or that tapping thing. Although EFT uses tapping, there is a big difference between knowing the tapping points and knowing EFT.

On the face of it Tapping and EFT look exactly the same.  They both use the fingers to tap on exactly the same points on the body whilst focusing on the situation.

So what is the difference?

Tapping is more aligned to a Quick Fix for physical sensations in the body that you want to feel better about then and there, on the spot.  It is more of an emotional band-aid that will help you feel better within moments.   However, the condition or issue is likely to return.

For example, if you have a headache or migraine, tapping for approximately 10 – 20 minutes as you focus on where the pain is and how it may be pounding on the right or the left side of your head and any other physical sensations, the pain will ease and eventually go away without the need for taking medication.

If you are driving and suffer road-rage, tapping on the physical sensation of any anger you may feel in your body can help you feel better so that you drive calmer.

Feeling anxious about an interview or exam and tapping for the physical sensations in your body, possibly the butterflies in your stomach, can make these go away so that you can focus more.

If you have cravings for chocolate, pastries or bread or would like to stop smoking with your craving for cigarettes, tapping is good for this too.  A few minutes tapping could have you not wanting to eat or drink that item or not want to smoke that cigarette.  However, the craving has a high chance of returning unless you use EFT to fully clear the reasons why you crave those things.

EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques on the other hand, is about achieving complete and lifelong emotional freedom from a condition.  Hence the term ‘emotional freedom’ in the title.  EFT includes tapping, but is so much more than that.

A fully trained EFT practitioner will take a person through the reasons behind their issue and help to successfully navigate and clear negative or destructive patterns of behaviour that lead to the road-rage, migraine or craving, or any other issue for that matter.

EFT also has a high probability of being a permanent fix as the individual will work with, and be guided and supported by, a trained practitioner to help them transform their issue to a more positive and resourceful state.  The practitioner is likely to teach the individual how to use Tapping so that they can help themselves between appointments.

Tapping can be done with no training and is perfect as a quick-fix, emotional band aid by dealing with overwhelming sensations that you want to feel better about then and there on the spot, simply by focusing on the physical sensations in your body and tapping on the points until you feel better.

EFT is about long lasting emotional freedom from an issue.

Both have their place and, used correctly both can be highly successful, however, if you want permanent, long lasting emotional freedom from an issue, it is advisable to seek the advice of a fully trained Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Practitioner.

Alternatively, if you want to know how to use Emotional Freedom Techniques to clear your own emotional issues for yourself, you would need to attend a Level 1, tap on yourself for yourself,  workshop where you will be fully guided on how to do this.

Debby is a Master EFT Trainer with and has trained many people on how to tap on themselves for themselves, as well as training people to become successful EFT practitioners.

She works with people on a one:one basis in person or via Skype.

Visit her website for more info.

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Our top 5 Fears – No.3 – Rejection

Category:Health & Wellbeing


Rejection, without doubt, can be one of the biggest fears faced by many and can affect every area of your life.

  • Relationships
  • Work
  • Personal projects
  • Ideas
  • Dreams
  • Wishes

It can leave you with a huge feeling of why which may never be fully answered and can send your mind spinning in ever decreasing circles at all times of the day or night.

You may have put everything you had on the line and risked all including your time, money and pride to:

  • ask that person out on a date
  • submit your ideas
  • go for that job or
  • ask for that raise,

and it could have taken every ounce of courage you had in the process, only to hear a very loud ‘no’.

At such point your confidence sinks, your self-esteem crumbles and your negative self-talk can become relentless, you may want to give it all up completely and forever as you recite, why, why, why over and over with endless possible, sometimes outlandish, made up reasons, but nothing makes any real sense until you convince yourself of one single thought that must be true, otherwise you would have been told yes. It’s hard work being rejected.

The word no is not the issue, it’s that someone doesn’t want what you are offering and that it contains various parts of your heart and soul; and that’s where rejection strikes the most.  It hits your belief in yourself.

As human beings we have a natural need to be accepted and when we are rejected this can deeply affect our sense of belonging to others and to ourselves; to be somebody and to be heard.

Our self-belief is what carries us through life and to have this knocked can be a hard road to walk.

Is rejection all it’s made out to be?

It may come as a surprise to you, but my own personal belief is that there is no such thing as rejection; am I deluding myself? I don’t think so, I see it as being about personal opinion or beliefs and when you match or align yours with another you will be accepted, but the dilemma is that until you ask you don’t know, and if you never ask you will never get, and rejection comes out of asking; so how do you get what you want?

The majority of people have been rejected for something in their lives at some time, and I would guess that for many in hindsight it has turned out to be one of the best things that happened to them.  It may have helped them re-focus, re-write, re-evaluate or re-apply or re-ask in another way, so I see it as part of reinventing ourselves, and from a perceived rejection we can only grow.

So what usually happens after the thoughts of rejection have settled down in your mind, do you give up or fight harder?

I believe that rejection is a numbers game, now that doesn’t mean that you can ask that same person out on a date fifty times until you get that ‘yes’, you may need to re-evaluate or re-adjust so you become a better you, or you could ask other people out and you will, eventually, get that yes.  It could be the second or the fifty second person you ask, you don’t know which, but it will come.

The same goes for these now famous people which could easily not have been if they had taken rejection as the end of the line. How would life be for them, and us in some way, if they had have given up?

Walt Disney

Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star in 1919 because, his editor said, he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He was further turned down some 302 times before he got financing for Disneyland.


After a performance at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry, Elvis was told by the concert hall manager that he was better off returning to Memphis and driving trucks (his former career).

Stephen King

His most renowned and first book, Carrie, was rejected thirty times. He decided to toss the book in the bin which his wife rescued and convinced him to re-submit it.

JK Rowling

She was rejected by 12 publishers before Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone was accepted.

Michael Jordon

He was cut from his high school basketball team for not being good enough, which he said only made him a better player.

I would encourage you to start to embrace rejection, to get back up and try again and again as quickly as possible to find that magic, unknown, number that will be your  ‘yes’.  Look for the positives behind the no and keep moving forward and re-adjusting where needed.

One very important question to ask when receiving rejection is, “what do I need to do to make it a yes”?  That can help you decide if you want to make those changes to align with that person or company, or if you want to reach those you will naturally align with.  The choice is yours but above all, never give up.

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Enlightenment – What is it and how can you get it?

Category:Health & Wellbeing


Enlightenment – What is it and how can you get it?

The talk on the street is that we are coming into the age of enlightenment; Great! but what exactly does that mean and how can you get it?

Does it mean that you have to sit cross legged on the top of a hill during a full moon and chant? Or do you need to develop your telepathic or telekinesis skills? or simply replace your 60 watt light bulb with a 100 watt?

Some may say yes to some of that and others may tell you that it’s about finding your heart within yourself and learning how to recognise the needs of others.

There are a few ways in achieving enlightenment and none of it has anything to do with religion of any kind.  Compassion is one of them and it all starts with yourself, recognising, and accepting, your own faults and failings with the wisdom and understanding that had it not have been for those things you would not be where you are today, both the good and not so good of it.

Your life path up to this point has led you to right now, why? because that’s exactly where you are supposed to be with the wisdom and knowledge you have today, you can’t be anywhere else because you have not developed the wisdom and knowledge to be there, but the chances are that you look back on your life wishing things could have been different – stop – having that ball and chain to your ankle only holds you back and slows you down, you and only you hold the key and are free to remove your shackles at any time.

Enlightenment is about you and learning to let go and find self-acceptance and become free from your emotional burdens and limiting beliefs; accepting what is and what has been and being totally non-judgemental of your fellow human brother or sister for the journey they have taken themselves on.

The motto of enlightenment is said to be Sapere aude! which means Dare to be Wise!  And is about developing an inner wisdom and ‘knowing’ and looking for the learning from each life situation, which is always there.

Part of my own journey is that my father walked out when I was just one year old and left my mother with seven school age children, and with $0.01 maintenance payment per year we lived a poor life, however, enlightenment has shown me that as a result of this I have developed compassion for others in less fortunate positions, and have since learned that my father had aggressive tendencies, so I now feel that we, my brothers and sisters, had a lucky escape.  I have also discovered that his path was fraught with trauma and neglect and although I may not condone his behaviour I can release it from my body and let it go, with love.  I am now thankful for what he did because my life would have been so very different otherwise.

The other part of obtaining enlightenment is looking beyond what your eyes see and your ears hear and lifting the veil on the hundreds and thousands of years of how we have been controlled, guided, or misguided to believe certain things and are still, today, being told untruths in public by the mainstream media and many other areas.  We are in a time where those that speak their truths are put down and ridiculed, not only in the media but by us, as individuals. Where we do not understand or believe, we resort to ridicule.

For example, we have been duped to believe that taking vitamins and minerals do us little to no good, in fact taking them they could do us harm, so we are told over and over.  Consider this; the human body is by nature made up of vitamins and minerals, our body makes these substances 24/7 so why would taking vitamins and minerals be bad for us?  Would you put sodas in your car rather than petrol? highly unlikely, and if you did it would fail, yet day in, day out we are taking man made pills to allegedly make us well when what we need is the correct dose of vitamins and minerals either naturally from the earth’s store or in quality supplements.

To me, one of the most important ways we have been deceived, which has led to our lack of enlightenment, is to think that the body, mind and spirit are totally separate from one another and that science and spirituality are at opposite ends of the spectrum.  This could not be further from the truth as our thoughts and emotions strongly reflect in our body in every way and can, and do, cause pain, sickness and illness.

If you can find that stillness in your mind, your body will follow.  If you can release your past and accept yourself for who and where you are right now and learn to lift the veil to look beyond what is being presented to you and ‘Dare to be Wise’, you will, indeed, be on the path to enlightenment.

About Debby Emeny (Guddee)

Having been bullied through childhood, in the workplace and in relationships, Debby’s passion is to empower you to create confidence and self-esteem and help you achieve your goals by identifying and removing limiting beliefs which block your success.

Based in New Zealand, Debby is qualified in adult teaching, NLP, is a certified Master EFT Trainer and Matrix-Reimprinting Practitioner.  She is also a children’s Heart-Math educator, an intuitive healer and a powerful public speaker.

She is a children’s author with her first book, My Favorite Hugs being voted one of 12 most notable children’s books of 2013 by Shelf Unbound.  Her latest book, Discover the Magic of EFT for Bullying which helps children recover from the emotional effects of bullying to gain confidence and self-esteem, was voted one of the best instructional books of 2014.,

She is mother to one daughter and a devoted grandmother that keeps her forever young.

Debby works with clients in person and via Skype.

Discover more about Debby and her work at

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Our top 5 Fears – No.2 – Death

Category:Health & Wellbeing


A fear of death affects millions of people every year and can stop you from enjoying all the wonders of life. You can be fearful of your own death or the death of a loved one; it can cause severe anguish and mental suffering.

Death is the one thing we can never run from, it will come to us all at some time. In 200 years from now there will have been a complete change in population and not one of us here now will be on this planet.

Why Are We So Caught Up in this Fear, What Are We Really Afraid Of?

There are many individual reasons why we have this fear, let alone the way it is portrayed in many movies, which can be quite a scary experience in itself, some of the reasons could be:

  • the unknown, what will happen and where do we go?
  • leaving our loved ones?
  • not achieving our dreams?
  • not being able to experience life?
  • dying in regret?
  • what will happen when we are not here, who will look after things?

When we are young and carefree we generally tend to have a lesser fear of death than during later years, the onset of parenthood, or grandparenthood, makes us realise our mortality and importance in life and our need to be here on this planet taking care of those we love and cherish.

As we get older we may experience the loss of loved ones which again makes us assess our own life, and as age creeps upon us the fear can become stronger, with the words ‘what if’ frequently going through our minds, we could find ourselves sitting in our chair watching TV and doing much of nothing.

We start to see fear in the things we used to enjoy such as going on holiday or flying, we consider all of the things that we are afraid of before leaving the comfort of our own home, all of which comes down to a fear of dying, and we are never quite ready for that.

We know that we are walking a line from the time we are conceived to a date in our future, which we can never be sure of, so we hold back on life and living and try to savour the moments we have by not taking any risks, ‘just in case’.

However, by not taking risks could end up living life in regret. Some of the top regrets of the dying are:

I held back on my dreams

  • I worked too hard
  • I worried too much
  • I didn’t make enough time for my family or friends
  • I wish I had told people how much I loved them
  • I wish I had known earlier that happiness is a choice

How Do We Get Over This Fear?

There are a number of ways of overcoming this fear, talking about it to someone is often a good start as talking can often help to put things in perspective.

One of the best ways I know of overcoming it is to focus on the present moment and recognise your feelings, knowing that holding back on life is like living for death.

Write down the things that you may regret in your final days and do those things. Tell people you love them, work less hours, spend time with those who are important to you and go for your dreams, whatever age you are. Doing so could help to keep you young, vibrant and ‘alive’.

If providing for others is a key aspect for you, make sure you put a plan in place to get this off your mind, but also know that whatever happens people are resilient, they find a way.

Take the time to focus on the smaller things in life and appreciate the beauty you have around you such as a flower, a kind word or generous act of another.

Learn to laugh at simple things and dance your way through life, and when the time comes that we leave, and it will come, you will feel that you have had the most amazing time and others are likely to echo these words about you, which would make you smile if you could hear them.

Finally, in the words of someone who knew how to fully overcome the fear of death:

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, “wow, what a ride!”   Anonymous

Next: our No.1 fear; Failure

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Bullying – how can you help



Almost 200,000 children miss school every day as a result of bullying.  Could it be happening to your child? And if so what can you do to help?  This is one of the biggest questions facing parents and caregivers today

Many children going through bullying can feel very isolated and, for them, it can be a time of immense fear, inward withdrawal and self persecution, which only adds to the bullying experience.

It takes a lot of courage for a child to own up to being bullied as by owning up, or telling, the child could feel that they are making themselves vulnerable and may be seen as weak and that, despite all their own personal best efforts, the bullying is still happening to them.

When a child owns up to being bullied the very first thing you should do is listen, I mean really listen, take what they are saying seriously, respect that they have chosen you at this time to make themselves vulnerable.

Find out exactly what is happening, when and by who and what type of bullying they are experiencing from the four major types of bullying below, which can be one or a combination of these:

  • Verbal bullying - includes name calling, insults, homophobic or racist remarks.
  • Intimidating or Exclusion bullying – where the child is excluded from joining in and rumour spreading.
  • Physical bullying – pinching, punching, slapping, hair pulling or harming personal property.
  • Cyberbullying – being tormented via social media, text, email or any other electronic means.

When a child own up to being bullied, never say any of the following expressions as it could make them withdraw and, although untrue, they could feel that you don’t care or understand:

  • it’s only names
  • find some new friends
  • just walk away
  • why don’t you turn your phone off?
  • I’m too busy to listen, tell me later

At this time they are already feeling weak and vulnerable and need your love, support and compassion more than ever.  Unless you have been bullied yourself, it may be difficult for you to really understand how they are feeling as, to you, it could sound petty, at times.  Know that, to the child, this is absolutely real life and a serious situation.

Ask them how long it’s been going and who else know about this such as teachers or their friends.  Have they had any offer of support as yet?  Never be offended that you may be the last to know, children can find it difficult to tell their parents for fear of feeling that they have done something wrong or failed them in some way.   Ask them what type of support they might like to have and let them know that, although you may not have all the answers, you will work with them to find something soon.

It is likely that you yourself may feel angry and may want to go to see the bully or their parents yourself; in the first instance speak with the school principal and let them know what is happening and the name(s) of those doing the bullying.  Do not feel that you need to approach the bully or their parents, leave that to the proper channels to deal with.

A question often asked is should your child still go to school? If it is safe to do so, yes, it is important to keep to as much of a normal routine as possible.  Try to find someone that can buddy up with your child, it could be one of their existing friends or someone new.  This will give them a sense of support and may help them to feel a little confident, as bullies often attack when the child is by themselves.

If it’s Cyber bullying that your child is going through, block the bully in every way.  It is easy now to block phone numbers by calling the telephone provider.  If they are receiving nasty emails then block the email address, if you don’t know how to do this the child will.  For social media simply unfriend them. However, bullies are very resilient and usually operate in groups, so there may be several numbers or people to block.

For physical bullying notify the police for any physical injury or harm.

There is a lot of help available with bullying situations and many ways to deal with it.  The below offers some valuable resources available in New Zealand and worldwide, with many schools now having in-house counselors.  It is possible that there may be local support groups near you so keep an eye out in the school magazine or local papers:

The below link will take you to links for many more worldwide organisations that can offer help with bullying.

I can also recommend my own book, Discover the Magic of EFT for Bullying –  written to help children release the emotional effects of bullying to quickly gain confidence and self-esteem. This self-help guide for children, parents, teachers or anyone working with children is available online as a paperback and e-reader formats. By working through the exercises in this book it will help both you your child feel better, and in feeling better the bullying may stop altogether as the child moves from being a victim to overcoming bulling. It covers each of the four major bullying areas as noted previously.

Know that whatever is happening it is not your child’s fault; they have probably tried to deal with it themselves and have reached the point where they no longer can.  Never underestimate the power of your unconditional love and support which can often be just what is needed to give them the strength and confidence to get through this together.

Look out for further articles on this topic and how to recognize bullying.

About Debby Emeny (Guddee)

Having been bullied through childhood, in the workplace and in relationships, Debby’s passion is to empower you to create confidence and self-esteem and help you achieve your goals by identifying and removing limiting beliefs which block your success.

Based in New Zealand, Debby is qualified in adult teaching, NLP, is a certified Master EFT Trainer and Matrix-Reimprinting Practitioner.  She is also a children’s Heart-Math educator and a powerful public speaker.

She is a children’s author with her first book, My Favorite Hugs being voted one of 12 most notable children’s books of 2013 by Shelf Unbound.  Her latest book, Discover the Magic of EFT for Bullying which helps children recover from the emotional effects of bullying to gain confidence and self-esteem, was voted one of the best instructional books of 2014.,

She is mother to one daughter and a devoted grandmother that keeps her forever young.

Debby works with clients in person and via Skype.

Discover more about Debby and her work at

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80 questions to uncover limiting beliefs



During the first 6 years of life our brain is in record mode where we take everything we see and hear to be 100% true.  It is during this time that we can develop our strongest and most life limiting beliefs which we then measure the rest of our life against.  These truths, held in our subconscious, serve only to protect us by reminding us of what happened last time and try to keep us safe from repeating the event, however nowadays what mostly happens is that these limiting beliefs keep us in a state of sickness or fear.

As the years go by the subconscious is constantly being triggered by:

  • the look someone gave you,
  • the tone of voice you heard,
  • the smell in the air when you heard the news,
  • the feeling you had when it happened

All of our senses play a part in locking things into our subconscious, but mostly it is about what you told yourself at that time that creates the life limiting belief.  When the senses are reminded of the event, the belief is reinforced.

The questions often asked is:

  • How do you know that you have limiting beliefs?
  • How do you find them? and more so,
  • How can you change them?

One way to recognise some of you limiting beliefs is to look at what is not working in your life right now, money, success, relationships.  Behind it will be a limiting belief that is stopping (protecting) you from moving further than where you are today.

Working as an Meridian Energy Psychology Practitioner, which includes EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping, is it our job to pull on our core questioning skills to help your subconscious open up and show what your limiting beliefs are.  Once you find them, using EFT tapping, you get to take the learnings from your subconscious and re-program (re-record) it to a more positive and resourceful state. By clearing and re-programing your limiting beliefs all affirmations will be powered up as they do not have your subconscious blocking you.

Below are a list of questions that can be used to help uncover your limiting beliefs by triggering your subconscious so that you get that ‘Ah-Ha’ moment.

You may use these to question yourself and your own life, but know that your subconscious is a master at protecting you, so you may only be able to go as far as your subconscious will allow.  Working with a trained practitioner will help to get to those that are blocking your barriers to success.

80 Questions to identify limiting beliefs

  1. What is not working in your life now?
    • How does that make you feel?
  2. When did this first happen?
  3. What age were you when this happened?
  4. What was going on in your life at that time?
  5. What was your emotional state at that time?
  6. What was going on in your life just before this?
  7. How would your life be if you didn’t have this?
  8. What would you need to do differently if this wasn’t there?
  9. What would you not want to do if you didn’t have this?
  10. Who or what would be affected if you let go of this?
    • How would that affect them/it?
  11. How safe would you feel if you didn’t have this?
  12. If this represented an emotion – what might it be?
  13. If this pain could talk – what might it say?
    • Who’s voice would that be?
  14. Where did you learn this behaviour/statement from?
  15. Who first said these words to you?
  16. Are those your words or someone elses?
  17. What tone of voice do you speak to yourself in?
  18. Is this your issue or someone elses?
  19. When was the first time you remember feeling like this?
  20. What does this remind you of?
  21. What could this feeling be protecting you from?
  22. What could be the purpose of this?
  23. What do you wish never happened in your life?
  24. If you could change one thing, what would that be?
  25. Can you remember the first, worst and/or last time this happened?
  26. Why might you deserve this?
  27. If this issue had a meaning, what might it be telling you?
  28. How do you know you have this?
  29. How many times has this occurred / re-occurred?
  30. If someone else had this what would you say to them?
  31. Where is the emotion located?
  32. What does that part of the body mean to you?
    • How does that makes you feel e.g. makes my skin crawl, gets up my nose etc.
  33. What image comes to mind when you think of this?
    • What does that image represent?
  34. Why do you think you haven’t resolved this yet?
  35. What did you tell yourself when this happened?
  36. What happened last time you were at your best?
  37. What do you tell yourself about it?
  38. What stops you from being well / free from this?
  39. How are you contributing to this?
  40. If an experience could have contributed to this, what might that be?
  41. What does this pain/emotion mean to you?
  42. If you could choose to have this , what would be the reason for it?
  43. How much (%) do you believe that you will get better / be free of this?
    • What does the remaining % consist of?
    • What would make that 100%?
  44. When you think of it, is it close by or far away?
  45. How many generations might this go back?
    • Who could it have started with?
    • Where could it have started (time period)
    • What might have been happening at that time (e.g. war / the great depression)
  46. If it had a colour, what might it be?
    • What does that colour mean to you?
  47. If it had a shape, what might it be?
    • What does that shape represent?
  48. If it had a smell, what might it be?
    • What does that smell remind you of?
  49. What makes you believe this is true?
  50. Why are you holding onto this?
  51. Who are you trying to hurt by holding onto this?
  52. What could you do to help yourself ?
    • Why don’t you do that?
  53. When the problem happened, what did that say about you?
  54. What part of you would you have to give up if you overcame this?
  55. What struggles do you have on a daily basis?
  56. What do you complain about the most?
  57. When is the issue at its worst
    • What are you doing?
    • What are you thinking?
    • What external influences are there?
  58. What are you doing too much or too little of?
  59. What is the recurring pattern [issue/event] that happens in your life?
  60. What would you have to believe in, in order to change this?
  61. What is the main character trait in someone else that really irritates you?
  62. I keep ‘this issue’ because……………………….?
  63. What would you say to your younger self to stop this from ever happening?

Debby is a Master EFT Trainer and has trained many people on how to tap on themselves for themselves to uncover and reprogram their limiting beliefs, as well as training people to become successful EFT practitioners.

She works with people on a one:one basis in person or via Skype.

Visit her website  for more info.

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How Limiting Beliefs are Created



During the first 6 years of our life everything we see and hear we believe to be 100% accurate, after all, we have no life experiences to tell us otherwise.

Each time we hear or see something a brick is laid in our wall of limiting beliefs where we tell ourselves things like:

  • People are out to get me
  • I'm not good enough
  • I must be perfect to be loved
  • The world is dangerous
  • You can't trust people
  • Life's not fair

We repeat this words to ourselves each time a life events remind us of it, so so we stack another brick on top to cement what we already believe we know.  The more we say negative things to ourselves, the higher and wider the wall.  The more we say the same thing, the more bricks we have in our wall to remind us of it, and eventually it becomes our identity, our story of who we are and where we come from.

After a while our wall of self limiting beliefs stops us from moving forward in relationships, jobs, hobbies, or any part of life, so much so that we can become anxious or depressed or we fail to take chances or see the beauty in life as our wall is always protecting us from going any further. Over the years this wall can become so high and wide that our body and mind may begin to weaken or give up as it believes that there is no way through it, round it or over it.

The irony is that for the majority of people, we do not realise this wall is even there, all we know is that we are afraid or anxious, but every now and again another life event will lay another brick, reminding us of how 'not good enough' we think we are.

How can you identify what's in your wall?

Take a look at what is not working in your life?

  • Do you have enough money coming in?
  • Are you in healthy, positive relationships?
  • Are you afraid to do things for fear of failure?
  • Do you worry about what others may think or say?

Each one of these things will be a brick in your wall of limiting beliefs.

How can you get round, through or over the wall?

Identifying some of the brick in your wall is the first step to being able to clear them.

The second is to be able to remove some of the bricks, or change the wording to more positive messages from "I can't do it" to "I can do it".

Affirmations are excellent, but often it is like shouting words at the brick wall and expecting them to stick, unless you clear the events that created the beliefs, the words you shout are unlikely to have a long lasting effect.

You could pretend the wall is not there and feel the fear and do it anyway/. That is an option that some people adopt, however, some of these bricks are deeply cemented and attached to health issues, and ramming the wall does not take away the physiological effect it has had on the body or mind.

One of the best and permanent ways to naturally dissolve the words on your wall and allow your subconscious to replace them with positive words is by using EFT, a meridian energy technique known as Emotional Freedom Techniques or tapping.

EFT can very often quickly help you to identify what is blocking your success to resolve the underlying issue and naturally change the wording to allow you to experience and achieve all life has to offer, so that you can confidently get that new job, ask that person on a date, get that sale and so much more...

Our limiting beliefs are the major controller of our lives and until these are changed there will always be something holding you back. How different could life be in you removed that limiting belief from your wall and allowed yourself to confidently move forward in life and discover the real you?

Debby is a Master EFT Trainer and has trained many people on how to tap on themselves for themselves to rid themselves of their limiting beliefs, as well as training people to become successful EFT practitioners. She works with people on a one:one basis in person or via Skype.

Visit her website for more info.

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